


Thankful Chaos

by kimjibyung



Series: Chaotic Loving [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Chaos, M/M, Past Relationships, Thanksgiving Dinner, failure at cooking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27719902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimjibyung/pseuds/kimjibyung
Summary: Kris was tasked with the mission of eliminating the ex-boyfriend of his current employer, so how did he end up sitting down at the table of his target and enjoying a half-burnt meal for Thanksgiving?
Relationships: Choi Minho/Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris
Series: Chaotic Loving [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2165376
Comments: 11
Kudos: 40





	Thankful Chaos

The pay was what Kris always used as a means of drive in the profession he chose, it wasn’t that he was any good at actually killing people… without fucking up one way or another. But he usually carried out the task, either with a busted knuckle, stomped toe on the side table that the targets always seemed to have, or a minor slip-up in the scuffles that occasionally broke out.

The current task at hand had ruined his plans of ordering takeout and chilling out in front of the TV with some random Hallmark movie about a cliché plot line. It was the day of Thanksgiving, not a typical holiday he celebrated, unless the occasion called for it. But he enjoyed a large feast and a long nap afterwards as much as the next guy.

Right now, he was outside his current target’s apartment, picking the lock. He could hear Christmas carols distantly coming from inside the apartment. At least that provided some cover for any noises he made before entering the home. At the satisfying clink of the lock, he twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open as quietly as he could.

He stepped in and shut the door gently to keep from making any noises, even though there was Christmas carols in the air, louder now, he still didn’t want to draw attention. As soon as he turned around to scope out the entrance of the home, he started forward until his foot got caught up in the mess of shoes that were scattered about and sent him stumbling forward, crashing to the floor.

The conversation that he had last week about this case flooded his mind as he winced at the pain blossoming on the palms of his hands where he tried to catch himself. The target’s ex-boyfriend told him about how much of a messy housekeeper the target was, he should’ve figured that there’d be a trap of shoes in front of the door. He should’ve had a flashlight to scope out the dark front room before he fully stepped in.

Oh well. Too late now.

He picked himself up and practically followed his nose to where, he believed, the kitchen was. Whatever was cooking had filled the apartment with the scent, but it smelled like it was close to burning.

Edging around the corner of the living room, he peered into the kitchen where the short black haired male, Kim Junmyeon, had his back turned to him. He was chopping something up on the counter… or struggling to. The sound of the knife cutting through the vegetable was awkward, a bit of a hardship. He tried to peer around to see what the man was chopping when one piece landed in the floor instead of on the chopping board.

The short black haired male cursed softly, bending down to pick up the fallen piece, and Kris saw that the vegetable was a large carrot. He shrugged, _okay…_ carrots are hard to cut.

The burning smell was becoming stronger now, and he was beginning to wonder if the black haired man would notice it. Especially before the burning smell turned into a small fire. He didn’t need a fire ruining his chances of completing the mission… but now that he thought about it, he could kill his target and then let the fire take care of the evidence.

When the target, Junmyeon, stood back up, tossing the fallen piece of carrot towards the general direction of the trash can and missing, he turned to the oven where the burning smell was coming from. Kris used that as a means to move closer, careful to avoid being noticed by the man.

He watched as the target opened the oven door and black smoke started coming out, causing the man to cry out in distress as he hurried to shut off the heat to the oven and then grabbed his oven-mittens to move the burning food out of the oven.

“No, no, no! I followed the directions exactly! Why are you burnt?” Junmeyon cried, fanning the burnt piece of… what looked like a turkey to Kris. Or a large chicken.

Kris used the man’s hysterics over the burnt dinner as his opportunity to strike. Junmyeon was practically crying into the oven-mittens still engulfing his hands so he didn’t even notice as Kris rounded the small counter that was separating himself from Junmyeon. Kris’s gaze was focused on the shorter male so he forgot that Junmyeon didn’t close the door to the oven, so in his haste, his knee caught on the corner.

The noise of his knee hitting it and the loud curse that left his lips at the pain blossoming there now caught Junmyeon’s attention. His wet eyes widened at the sight of the tall man in his kitchen, holding onto his knee with a pained expression on his face.

“Wh-Who are you? What are you doing in my kitchen?”

“Witnessing a disaster, apparently,” Kris groaned, rubbing at the area of his knee that was still throbbing. He slammed the oven door close, and charged towards Junmyeon.

What he wasn’t anticipating was the scuffle that the two ended up in, Junmyeon wasn’t going down without a fight. His oven-mitten hands attempted to punch at Kris but hardly did any damage as the two struggled for control of the fight. A piece of carrot on the floor that Junmyeon hadn’t noticed before had caused the shorter male’s footing to slip.

Junmyeon landed on his back with a hard fall, but not without bringing down Kris on top of him. He expected the taller male to start attacking him again but then he noticed the way the man had landed on him, and where his knee happened to be. The man’s face was drawn up in agony when Junmyeon pushed him off of him, hands naturally moving down to cup himself as he groaned in pain. The music of the Christmas carol, Silver Bells, filled the kitchen around them.

“Wha…” Junmyeon’s face flushed bright red when he realized where his knee had hit. “I’m so sorry-I wasn’t aiming there… I wouldn’t hit below the belt-line, I swear!”

Kris clutched at his jewels from his spot on the floor, whimpers sounding almost like a wounded pup. Junmyeon quickly moved over to the freezer, slipping off the oven-mittens to open the door and pull out a frozen bag of sweet peas. It wasn’t much, but it would help alleviate the pain that he knew the man was in. He still wasn’t exactly sure what the taller man was doing in his kitchen, let alone his house, but he couldn’t be deemed a bad host… despite whoever this man was.

“H-Here, this should help,” he handed over the frozen bag of peas. “I don’t have any actual ice packs, sorry.”

The coolness of the frozen bag helped numb the pain slightly, and Kris could actually form words now that weren’t tiny whimpers. Even though Junmyeon clearly didn’t know the circumstances of his ‘visit’, he found it a bit comical that the target of his mission was actually _helping_ him instead of calling the cops. 

“So Minho actually contracted you to kill me? On Thanksgiving of all holidays?” Junmyeon asked, as he poked gloomily at the burnt piece of turkey on his plate.

Across from him sat Kris, the hired assassin, with the slightly thawed out bag of peas still pressed against himself. The two of them tried to find whatever pieces of the turkey was still edible to feast on, while mostly being content with _one_ of the side dishes. The carrots were still a bit hard, not too sweet, even if Junmyeon had added the exact amount of honey he was told to. His mother gave him the recipe awhile back.

The mashed potatoes were a bit lumpy, but… okay enough to still eat. The dinner rolls were doughy inside, the bottoms of them were burnt though. Then the only thing that turned out decent was the green beans… but they were canned green beans, all Junmyeon had to do was warm them up. He couldn’t fuck that up too badly.

“It didn’t have to be on Thanksgiving, really, he came to me at the last moment with the deal,” Kris shrugged, attempting to stab his fork into the carrot and failing to lodge it into the orange vegetable. “He told me that you’d be cooped up in your apartment on Thanksgiving, _alone_ , and I figured it’d be a good time to strike.”

Junmyeon hummed, watching as Kris gave up with the hard carrot and just started eating the green beans instead, “After your crotch feels better, are you going to attempt to kill me again?”

“Honestly, I’m just waiting for you to call the cops on me,” Kris admitted, mouth full.

“After you witnessing my disaster of a Thanksgiving meal and being subjected to it, I think you’d be doing me a favor with death,” Junmyeon mumbled, gaze trailing up to the turkey in the middle of the table that was more than half burnt.

Kris looked between Junmyeon and the burnt turkey, shrugging, “The green beans turned out okay.” At the small disheartened shrug from Junmyeon, he continued, “Surely you can cook other things, yeah?”

Junmyeon’s bottom lip poked out in a pout, “I can fix instant ramen.” He pushed his plat away, done with the meal, “So why did Minho want you to kill me? _He_ was the asshole that was cheating.”

“Huh. He told me that it was you that cheated?” Kris questioned, but he was half listening to the conversation as Minho ranted to him across the phone. Maybe he heard wrong?

Junmyeon scoffed, “I am a perfectly _loyal_ boyfriend, I’ll have you know. _Minho_ was the one banging his secretary, then moved onto one of his other rich friends.” He sighed softly, “After I found out, he decided to just end it with me. I just didn’t think he’d send someone out to _kill_ me.”

Kris shrugged, “Well, I didn’t exactly accomplish that.”

“ _Yet_.”

“‘ _Yet,’_ ” Kris repeated, he wasn’t in any pain now, thanks to the thawed out peas, he could go ahead and grab the knife that was used to, somewhat, carve the turkey and finish his job.

But Junmyeon’s next words had him pausing in that scenery playing out in Kris’s head, “Whatever price that Minho gave you, I’ll double that, if you off him instead.”

“What?” Kris sputtered. Junmyeon would double the amount? In return for him killing his client instead? But then, if Junmyeon is the one paying, then _he’d_ be the client and Minho would be the target now.

“Yeah, whatever price that Minho told you for me, I’ll double that,” Junmyeon stated, moving out of his seat and towards the wallet that was sitting on the coffee table in the living room. He came back over to Kris, and waited for the price tag of his offer.

Kris stared at the wallet then up at Junmyeon, “You’re serious.”

Junmyeon laughed softly, “Duh. If Minho sent you after me, and if you don’t complete the mission, who knows if he’ll send someone else. But if he’s out of the picture, then I don’t have to worry. Now, name your price.”

Okay, Kris could see the logic in that. And while he wasn’t making any moves yet to kill Junmyeon, it didn’t mean he wouldn’t, unlike what Junmyeon said. He was going to complete the mission, _was_ , but _now_ , he was definitely going after another target.

“Ten thousand,” Kris replied. “He wanted you gone for five thousand, so ten.”

Junmyeon opened his wallet, and pulled out a wad of cash that he had, but as he started counting it, he realized he was short of at least eight thousand. He cursed softly, and gave the amount that he had to Kris. It would serve as a safety deposit for now.

“I’ll get you the rest, come back after you complete the job, and I’ll have your money.”

Kris took the cash and slipped it into the back pocket of his jeans, “I can have it over with tonight, if you want to head on down to the bank and get the rest of the cash.”

Junmyeon was not intending on going back outside in the cold that evening but he bundled up anyway to head to the bank to withdraw the rest of the money. In moments like that, he was so thankful that his parents left him a large sum of money when they passed away. He just never imagined himself in the position that he’d placed himself in. To think that Minho actually hired an assassin, a bit of a failure of one, to take him out?

He didn’t think he was that shitty of a boyfriend… and Minho was the one that was actually doing the cheating. Shrugging off the memories of the old relationship, he stepped up to the ATM and started the transaction.

On the way back to his apartment, since his failure of a Thanksgiving meal wasn’t that filling, he stopped by the small shop to pick up some cups of noodles and the sight of a strawberry shortcake caught his attention. He realized then that his Thanksgiving meal had lacked the sweets that followed the meal. After grabbing the items and paying for them, he headed back to his apartment.

He kicked off his shoes at the shoe rack at his front door, leaving them where they landed, and made his way into the kitchen where he stared at the piled up dishes from his failed meal in the sink. He sighed sadly, shaking his head, he’ll clean all that up in the morning. For now, he wanted his cup of noodles and a slice of that beautiful strawberry shortcake.

Just as he set the kettle of water on the stove to boil for his cup of noodles, he heard a loud curse and the hard sound of something hitting the floor. He quickly moved out of the kitchen and flicked on the light for the area in front of the door to find Kris on the floor, clutching to his knee. The same knee that hit the oven door earlier.

“Your front door is a death trap,” Kris whimpered out. It seemed as if Junmyeon’s whole apartment was a death trap waiting for Kris. He should’ve learned to take caution with the area of Junmyeon’s front door.

Junmyeon scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, “Sorry?”

Kris rolled onto his back, rubbing at his knee to try and soothe the pain, “I completed the job. No more Minho.”

Junmyeon’s eyes widened at that, “Just like that?”

“Just like that,” Kris replied, “You got my cash?”

The shorter man moved over to his coat and dug into the pocket for the wad of cash, “I do.” He held out his hand to Kris to help him up before handing over the cash, “Do you want to join me for a cup of noodles and some cake? To make up for my shitty Thanksgiving dinner?”

Kris stared at Junmyeon with a raised eyebrow, still unsure of what to make of the shorter man. He thought it was odd earlier when, instead of calling the cops, Junmyeon helped him with his wounded crotch, and even offered him some of the dinner. But after the small wrestling match with Minho, he had worked up an appetite, and a cup of noodles and cake sounded pretty good.

“You’re an odd one, Junmyeon, but I’ll take you up on that offer.”

**Author's Note:**

> I started working on this last week since I don't have any family gatherings to attend this year, so I figured I'd enjoy the holiday with my favorite couple! :D And I hope you enjoy it too! Stay safe and take care of yourselves this holiday and the others to come!


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